God, I want to forgive, but it still hurts

The Bee Gees sang it best when they asked, “How deep is your love?”

I’ve been wrestling through some things recently. And there’s nothing extra special or spiritual about it. It’s just me asking God why and how.

I was telling Him I really want to just forgive and let go, but it hurts so much, and I know all of these emotional wounds will not heal as fast as I can say the words.

I was so emotional about this because, of course, the holidays are around the corner, and I want to have a real, authentic, loving time even as I navigate these very hard things that come with life and relationships. We all go through them. There’s nothing special about me or my situation. Friend, if you’re not going through challenges, I bet you already have, or you certainly will in the future.

So I sought out advice from a trusted mentor who counseled me and encouraged me in my walk. And then of course, YouTube!

I stumbled upon a talk from Lysa TerKeurst about forgiving what you can’t forget.

And in her talk she hit some huge things for me that I want to bring home for you today if you’re struggling with that question too.

First, I want to echo what she said. I want to tell you I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for what happened to you. For what they did or didn’t do to you. How they hurt you so deeply. I want to say I’m sorry. I want to tell you I’m sorry even if they have not or ever will.

But I also want to lift up some other items she spoke on: forgiveness is a command of God. And forgiveness can keep us from reliving trauma over and over and even doing things that we regret. Remember what Cain did to Abel? Yeah, when we let hurt fester and go unchecked, it can literally be fatal.

And as I marinated in that, God gave me this truth:

Love covers a multitude of sins.

How deep is your love?

God, I want my love to look like Yours.

How do I do that?

Can I let my love be bigger than my disappointment? God, can I let my love be bigger than my pain, bigger than unmet expectations, bigger than resentment, bigger than my failures to act like You, bigger than my discomfort, bigger than my heartbreak?

I want to.

But I can’t by myself.

So, God, I need You to do what only You can. I need You to help me, and to help my sweet friends reading this, to let You in Your Divine Presence and Mercy love through me and them, and stand in the gap for us. God, would You do that for us today?

Would You heal us? Would You lift us? Would You do Your holy work in the unmistakable way You move?

Father, I’m asking You to place a balm on our wounds—a healing medicine on our souls! Lord, drive out the enemy from his stirring and his quarreling and his spirit of dissension!

Have mercy on us and in us in a powerful way that we can sense Your Presence, Father.

May our love be greater and bigger, Lord.

And help us each step of the way, God, as we love beyond and above the discomfort, as we step forward bravely in forgiveness—even without apologies or without someone feeling sorry. God, may we know that it isn’t about the winner or who is right, but Lord, it is about living this life and loving this life the way You intended us to, with You at the heart of it.

Father, comfort us in our pain and lead us gently as we do this together.

We need You each day, and we always will.

Daily Bread

Psalm 34:18 (NLT)

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”

John 16:33 (NLT)

“Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

Romans 12:15 (NLT)

“Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.”

Ephesians 4:32 (NLT)

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

Genesis 4:6–7 (NLT)

“‘Why are you so angry?’ the Lord asked Cain. ‘Why do you look so dejected? You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.’”

1 Peter 4:8 (NLT)

“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.”

John 15:5 (NLT)

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in Me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from Me you can do nothing.”

Psalm 147:3 (NLT)

“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.”

Isaiah 61:1 (NLT)

“He has sent Me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.”

James 4:7 (NLT)

“So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 (NLT)

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

Micah 6:8 (NLT)

“O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what He requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.”

Psalm 23:3–4 (NLT)

“He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me.”

Lamentations 3:22–23 (NLT)

“The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning.”